“24”: Forgiving Ourselves

Pastors’ Blog

May 19, 2009

Dear [FIRSTNAME],

This may contain a spoiler from the season of “24” that ended this week. Season 7, right? Nothing too much about plot, but just about one scene. So stop reading if you’re a fan and don’t like spoilers.

Anyway, Jack Bauer is always facing his own mortality. But he usually doesn’t have time to dwell on it. He’s too busy saving lives.

This season they actually let him reflect on his life. Has he done right in all the torturing and killing he’s done in order to save lives? Is he ready to die in peace?

He summons in a Muslim spiritual guide whom he met that day. The Muslim prays something like, “Let us forgive ourselves for all we’ve done wrong.”

Now I’m not going to talk about the convoluted issue of whether it’s ok for Jack to torture people in order to extract information.

But I do find the whole notion of “forgiving yourself” rather peculiar. As a parallel, some people say, “You cannot love others unless you love yourself.” And I think, “That’s funny, the Bible assumes you love yourself; if you don’t, the command to ‘love your neighbor as yourself’ is weak and kind of frightening.”

I’ve certainly met some people who’ve expressed what Jack was going through. Self doubt. Have I done right? Am I a good person?

But most people give me the impression: “I’m a decent chap. Not great. Not bad. Not perfect. I’m only human. But I’m ok; I’m a pretty good person.” I know I give that impression to people, even though I scare psychologists when I tell them I am worthless (which I actually believe).

Please, no emails about how you think I am worth something. In Christ, I have my worth and value and forgiveness. But apart from Jesus and His death for me? I could find no comfort in “forgiving myself” or “loving myself” or “whatever someone thinks about me.” I got the impression Jack found his comfort.

But here’s something: Jack lived his life selflessly serving and rescuing others. He never let rules get in the way of saving people. If that flows from a heart given by Jesus, there can be no doubt. Which explains Jack’s doubts.

In Christ,

Pastor Steve

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